Rain, Rain, Go Away

It has been raining for a few days now. It's getting tiresome. And depressing. I went searching for a photo that I know would have expressed the mood perfectly.

I may have even shuffled past it, I was having so much fun tripping down memory lane. The photo I was looking for is this: a little girl looking out the rain streaked window. The trees in the yard are blurred by the rivulets of rain running down the window. The little girl is back-lit by the dim natural light. It is an awesome pic. It says "Rain, rain, go away so I can go outside and play" or whatever the hell we used to say when we were kids.

I did not see that photo but I came across so many jewels I did not know whether to sit, spin or make a necklace. I scanned some and will present one now, circa 1987. We might call it Minature Housewife.

Little H is "reading" In the Land of Dreamy Dreams by Ellen Gilchrist. Good stuff. The poor thing is trussed up in pink foam rollers, an attempt to girlify a tiny person who gave not one whit about her appearance.

There is a cup of coffe by her side. It is not hers, of course, but I wanted the illusion to be there. I did resist shooting her with a lit cigarette tucked between her tiny fingers. It would have made a MUCH better picture, though.

Gopher Addendum

I fell for the same stupid trick again. I'd like to tell you that as a member of the Smart Kids Club I figured it out on my own. But I enlisted the help of the smartest human I have ever met, Jeremy.

Now I feel really stupid because this is the same as the stupid card trick that I came across several years ago and figured out right away. Maybe I should remove these posts to retain my illusion of smartness. But thinking back, I'd have to remove even more posts. Maybe I should get back to Project #1, now in version 8.

I Surrender My Membership to the Smart Kids Club

If you want to waste some time go here and match wits with the magic gopher.

Really, I have better things to do. I am on version 7 of one of my projects and I have 2 others that haven't even been started. Eek.

While I'm here I must confess that I've been having a bitch of a time editing my HTML and getting things to look the way I want them to. Time for my own domain and my own code, I guess.

Goat Woman

I got cornered by Goat Woman today. My fault. I could have easily avoided her if I didn't smoke, which I shouldn't anyway. Even the governor has tried to help me quit by raising the tabacco tax by a dollar a pack. But I digresss..

Goat Woman has her name because it's all she talks about. Give her a chance to get a word in edgewise and the subject of goats comes up. Because I was too polite to tell her to shut up during the initial goat talk, I am stuck with goat talk whenever I see her. Even if the prevailing subject is racism in America or the cost of W's war.

Goat Woman is the name I gave her, of course. I doubt if it is her real name. I name people that I see on campus. There is Late Guy, Big Late Guy, Horse Girl and Cotton To, among others. Cotton To got his name because one day I overheard a snippet of conversation in which he said, "If there's one thing I don't cotton to, it's liars and cheats."

I want to say this about goat talk: I can talk the talk. I have goat experience. It is behind me and now I don't need to hear some neophyte blubbering about it. Goat people are weird, which is why I am not one anymore. I choose to be weird on other levels.

Spunky and Molly, circa 1982

1 Step Forward, 10 Steps Back

I worked most of yesterday making this guitar in Illustrator. Now I don't think I'm even going to use it in my poster. Back to square one on the poster project. Only 4 projects to make. Tick tock.

From My Myspace Profile

Who I'd like to meet:
Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
We would sit under the blossoming apple trees sipping lemonade. I would turn to him and say, "If this isn't nice, I don't know what is." Kurt would agree that yes, indeed, it was quite nice.

After a few minutes I would add "Isn't George W Bush a complete idiot?" and Kurt would agree wholeheartedly.

Kurt Vonnegut Jr. was one of my favorite writers. He died yesterday.

(Don't bother looking for me on Myspace. I have been there since October 2005 and I have 0 friends. Myspace is a lot like Mylife.)

Good News / Bad News

In the bad news department, I was unable to stave off the crappy weather with my photo post of tropical climes.

The upside of the crappy weather is that I used it to skip the only class I had today. The downside of the day off is that I spent the whole day studying for the 2 tests I have tomorrow. My brain is fried.

The good news is that I found my zip drive nestled in between the pages of the photo album I had put back on the shelf. And the really, really good news about finding it then and there is that I did not resort to ripping my house apart last night and spending this whole day repairing the damage. Plus I found my missing ear buds. Yay, me.

And I'm a Member of the "Smart Kids Club"

The "smart kid's club" as H in the Cities calls it, is the PTK. It is junior college's equivalent of the Greek system. I didn't attend a rush party. I didn't have to pledge. I don't hang out with my sorority sisters or fraternity brothers. I don't even know who they might be.

This is what I had to do to become a member of this auspicious group: maintain a high GPA and give them $70. Yay. They let me in, gave me a certificate and a lovely pin.

So much for the smart kids club. The zip drive is still missing. OMG. Tracing my steps: I had the urge to blog a photo, walked over to my photo albums, brought an album back to my desk. I picked a photo and put it in the scanner. I opened Photoshop and realized I had to plug my crappy cheap scanner into my USB extension. I removed my zip drive, plugged in the scanner, scanned, optimized, posted.......

So WTF did I do with my zip drive???????

On the upside, I found the ear buds I've been searching for for 2 months. If it takes 2 months to find the zip drive drive that's been sitting undetected in front of my face I'm going to check myself into the nursing home. Missing zip drive = 2 semesters of college loans wasted. Finding it in 2 months will be a sad, sad joke.

It's All My Fault

I just had to post the picture of the robin in the snow. I'm afraid it brought on this latest bout of unpleasant weather. In a vain attempt to stave off the 6 inches of fucking snow that is headed our way, here is a picture from March, 2000. (Happy, happy good times!) Never mind that the picture was taken in a tropical country. It is what I want. And I want it now.

In other news, the cheap scanner that I bought a couple of years ago is crapping out on me big time. Among its many problems is the fact that it doesn't like the USB port it was plugged into on the back of my box. So when I used this cheap crappy scanner, I plugged it into the USB extension that I plug my zip drive into. Now I'm done scanning and I have no idea where my zip drive is. The zip drive that holds ALL of my class projects, including the finals I am working on. Damn.

Flowers on Hold

Eighty degree temps in March melted the snow. Yay! Spring came. Then spring left. I'm not sure what is going on outside right now but it is not pleasant.

While digging through the photo archives for an image for a class project, I found this. It is dated April 15, 1996. I hope it is not a sign of things to come.

I think when I have a little more time on my hands, I will continue to dig through the photo archives and post little snippets of life gone by. There may even be a few happy moments in there somewhere.

Snow Gone

The drifts from 3 weeks ago are nearly gone.

Soon there will be flowers.

Future Headline: PJ to Stand Trial For Murdering IMS

But I will get off on a brainless defense.

Watching for Spring

I've been playing in Illustrator and getting ahead of the game. On Tuesday I will have the Illustrator class and be bored shitless after being bored shitless in the do-nothing class before it.

Spring break is over. If I'd had a rip-roaring good time during break I might be sad about it, but spring break sucked. Basketball on t.v. usurped my soaps, hubby was underfoot most of the time and I didn't even get my taxes done. The worst thing about having to go back to class tomorrow is that I am not used to the new time even though I've had the whole week to adapt.

I really want to get this college experience over with. College has been a detriment to my learning. It has taken my curiousity and crushed it. It has accomplished the goal of any good institution - break them down.

Although I'm not completely broken. I half expect to get expelled for my seditious ways before graduation.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

Migration

The other day I noticed that migration is in full swing. I saw 3 seperate flocks of geese flying over in a five minute span. Every time I hear the honking I have to stop, locate the flock and watch it until it is a dot in the distance. Every time!

This morning on the way to the barn I saw 2 seperate flocks. Gaggles, whatever. Leaving the barn, I saw a half of a V with one goose flying the point. Shortly behind it was the other half of the V with one goose flying point. I wanted to see them merge but they disappeared first. Why was the other half lagging? Did a goose have to make a pit stop and his half of the line stopped with him? Maybe the left half of the V were renegades trying to barge in on the right side of the V's party.

I walked to the mailbox and heard ducks. Of course I stopped to watch. This was a massive armada comprised of about 10 different V's. But the V's kept changing in this wild, flying dance of merging and reforming different V's. Before that squiggly line had completely dissolved, I heard another flock of geese. Wow.

No wonder it takes me so long to get the mail.

Dear Target

Remember when you were a great store? I do. You had everything I needed that wasn't grocery related in one spot. Well, except for automotive things which you had in a seperate building but still, you had it all.

Even when that upstart WalMart (WalMart sucks) built a store in town, I was undeterred. You were my everything (except groceries) store. Perhaps the pressure from WalMart (WalMart sucks) made you decide to build a new building and move.

I was cool with the new store. Automotive was under the same roof. You still had everything I needed. You rocked. And we lived happily together for years and years. I was not drawn into the Super WalMart (WalMart sucks) that was built. You were still my everything (except groceries) store.

Then you had to ruin a beautiful relationship by expanding. Not into a Super Target, but into a sort of super Target. You added a pharmacy (who gives a shit?) and some groceries. And you killed the soul of the store I loved.

I used to be able to help people find stuff in your aisles, I knew them so well. Now I'm pretty much lost. But it's not being lost that has killed my love for you. It is what I find when I'm wandering around those unfamiliar aisles.

Today, while searching for a hair product, I saw a 6.7 oz. bottle of shampoo for $24.99. Holy crap. That's more than I spend on a pair of jeans. For $24.99 I could buy 2 gallons of my regular shampoo. I gotta ask, WTF is wrong with you? Are you trying to force me to shop at WalMart (WalMart sucks) which will inevitably raise my blood pressure to the point of cardiac arrest?

WalMart sucks, but I have never had any expectations from that store. You, dear Target, have broken my heart.

thankgodits SPRING BREAK

I had two classes today. In the first class (layout design) I had the option to take the test over the last chapter or wait and take the test in a week. Knowing I would not get smarter over break, I took the test. I should have waited a week.

I got sucked into a trick question that was repeated in 10 different ways. I got a 78 on the test. Even the 88 I would have gotten had I not fallen into the trick question trap would not be up to my usual standards. Still, it beats the test I took yesterday. The test was a surprise since I skipped the [horribly mind numbingly stupid] class [taught by a moron who asks us how to do stuff in the program she is teaching] on Tuesday. I hadn't studied. I hadn't even READ the chapter. I got a 68. Wo.

After my dismal test this morning I had a break which I utilized by running errands, leaving the Incredible Mind Suck to talk to herself. Then I went to my only other class for the day (CAD), a class I call a do-nothing class. I have two such classes this semester taught by a brilliant man who knows these classes are just curriculum fluff for convoluted, meaningless programs.

So we mostly do nothing in either CAD or virtual modeling. Today we walked in and he told us if we had drawings that weren't done to draw them. The rest of us got to leave. So spring break started an hour early. Yay!

I have big plans for spring break. I'm going to get my taxes done.

Potato Gun Kid

On Monday a kid in one of my classes was frustrated about an impending meeting with the college bigwigs that kept getting postponed. The college President (Dr. B) and Vice President were jerking him around before giving him a tongue lashing. The kid had gotten caught shooting his potato gun outside of the dorms.

He didn’t seem worried about the meeting itself, just upset that the meeting had been scheduled and rescheduled several times. He was wearing what he considered his best shirt for a tribunal. It looked like he dug it from the bottom of a heap but whatever. I told him he should wear Goth makeup, carry a bible and when it was all over, thank Dr. B and VP T for setting him straight.

I had class with The Kid again today and asked how the meeting went. He said VP T was spitting during the vehement tongue lashing. He was meted 2 strikes on his housing policy (one more and he’s out of the dorms), a $50 fine which will double every week until it’s paid and his gun was confiscated. I think the gun being taken hurt the worst.

We imagined Dr. P and VP T playing with the potato gun and taking the $50 fine and going to a bar for drinks with it. I wouldn’t put it past them.

I was trying to think just what T’s position was at the school. I looked on the school website and couldn’t find anything. So I Googled him. Not only did I find his title (Vice President of Enrollment Services & Student Affairs) I found something better, which I knew but had forgotten. I found a news release from the state attorney general’s office about Dr. B and VP T’s little brush with the law. They got off much easier than The Kid did, even though they pled guilty to serious offenses.

I just wish I would have found the news release before The Kid had his meeting. It may not have affected the outcome but it might have made him feel better.

the other end of the witch AGAIN

The last weather report (see the other end of the witch) was about the ice storm that hit last weekend. So on Thursday school got cancelled and the weather arrived. It came in some sort of rain first, then sleet, then snow, snow, snow. Holy shit. But all was just ducky until the electricity went out at noon and stayed that way.

I went into pioneer mode and Mr. Man went to bed. He couldn't sleep the whole time the electricity was out, but I know he wanted to. I kept the house from freezing by boiling big kettles of water. I gathered snow to keep the pots full and for extra water for flushing the toilet.*

Between storms (see Incredible Mind Suck) I had gotten batteries at WalMart (WalMart sucks!) for my tiny black and white t.v. so we could watch the constant storm coverage. Light was provided by the antique kerosene lamp and candles from my car winter emergency kit. The candles from the kit proved to be much better at providing light the hundred scented soy candles I have. (When I discovered the "joy of soy" I threw out ALL of my old candles, which in retrospect, was stupid.)

We survived the night and woke up in a 57 degree house. I made cowboy coffee and washed dishes in hot snow water. We played cribbage. It wasn't too bad.

At noon I bundled up and waded through the drifts to the truck to charge my cell phone. Mr. Man went back to bed. I gathered more snow and set it on the porch. I had just gotten peeled out of my blizzard gear when the lights came back on.

Some of my neighbors weren't so lucky. They didn't get their electricity back until Saturday afternoon. And there were people in the state who still were without power from the storm the weekend before. So all in all, we were lucky.

On Saturday a neighbor came with his tractor and pushed/blew snow. Mr. Man took my car "for a little drive" and went straight to a bar. Then another bar.

I didn't venture out until yesterday. I went to town M for a few groceries then went to town B -- straight to a bar. Dammit, I deserved it. Felt like crap this morning though.

The roads are still crappy in a lot of places. And the parking lot at school is a damn joke. There were tons of empty parking spots this morning but very few that didn't have 3 feet of snow in them.

Short version: Another shitty storm, lights went out, we lived.

*For city folk -- Out here where people draw their water from wells, the water does not come out of the tap without electricity firing the pump which means no toilet flushing. But you can pour water in a toilet and it flushes like magic!

The Incredible Mind Suck

I have a friend who is friend by default. We are both in the same program at the same community college where we both have been jerked around for years.

She is a giant hole where everything gets sucked in and swirled around and spit out in constant mindless chatter about herself.

Everything reminds her of a story (about herself) that takes so long to tell you forgot what the subject was in the first place. Since we've been together for years, I've heard them all. In all their slow. Moving. Detail.

I had a so bad horrible shitty day yesterday that started at 7:30 a.m. with the IMS sucking away my pre-school quiet time by standing outside my car yakking away. My quiet time! Sucked away!

Later she sucked away my study time by yakking, "I don't bother to study because I won't remember it I hope she has more than 20 questions on the test because blah, blah, blah". Study time, sucked away!

I told her to shut the fuck up because I WAS TRYING TO STUDY but it was too late. She had bored holes in my brain and everything drained right back out. I didn't do so hot on the test and it pissed me off.

I have great days at school when IMS is not there, which is often, but then again, not often enough for me. She is constantly sick. Or her car is broken down again. Or some other earth shaking tragedy has struck, like her kid has the runs.

At least I am smart enough now (duh, don't ask me how long it took me to learn) not to answer her phone calls. She sucks away phone minutes. Just retrieving and deleting her voice mails is an enormous suck. Minutes! Sucked away!

The sucking that had gone on all day just intensified into this great crescendo that included me going into Wal Mart later for the first time in a year. Wal Mart! Sucks!

I got home to a husband who was deathly ill (he has a cold) and who needed me to run an errand for him right then because there was no way he could possibly do it himself in his condition. (He occasionally has to blow his nose.) Rest of the day! Sucked!

Short version: yesterday sucked due to an emotional vampire, a trip to WalMart and a husband at death's door .