Saturday, August 28, 2010

Chit Chat

To those of you who know me, even if just in cyberspace, you know that Thursday night was my first night of the league bowling season. I was less than excited to start a winter sport during the height of summer and kind of hoped that my team had had a private meeting and kicked this old broad out. No such luck.

I went. I bowled. I kept score. I sat and waited my turn. And when I wasn't keeping score, bowling or waiting I kept my eye on team mate Chit Chat, who was boring holes in the brain of our potential new sub with a constant stream of mindless blather.

I watched the bowlers in the rotation and evilly eye-balled Chit Chat when it was her turn to bowl. Often it was necessary to shout "CHIT CHAT -- LANE WHATEVER!" The rest of us agreed that we were happy that it was not our brains that being drained of vital fluid.

One of my team mates brought up a good point -- that it was a "talent" to be able to ALWAYS have something to say.

Team mate said she was in situations all the time when she never knew what to say. I had to agree. That is me all the time. I've seen Chit Chat accost people who barely knew her and engage them in long conversations. Such a talent would never keep me from funerals (well, except for the churchy part) or wedding receptions where the only person I knew was the groom's mother.

When bowling was over Chit Chat commandeered a conversation from another bowler about the attempted suicide of her sister and turned the light on herself. Isn't it also a talent to know when to shut the fuck up? When to listen? When to put the keys in the ignition and drive away?

Since I could not afford the loss of more brain matter, I got in my car and drove away.


I sloughed off yet another funeral today. Sorry. I don't do church well. Tonight I am avoiding a wedding reception after avoiding the wedding this afternoon. I would feel bad about that if the bride or groom could pick me out of a line-up, but neither could. The mother of the groom (who is responsible for me getting an invitation) could but I'm hoping she is sufficiently soused and will not remember if I attended or not.

My neighbor called a while ago to invite me over for a few brewskis. Her husband is gone. Crab is gone. It is a beautiful night to sit in the yard and gab. I could go for a one-on-one gab session with an old friend but she said one of her sisters was coming over. If there's one sister, there's three and that's three too many.

It is Saturday night. If I had my druthers, I'd be out with the 30 something bachelorette party that I wasn't invited to. It's just as well as it is nearly past my bed time as I write.

So -- blah.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

August 7, 2010


Heart of the matter


More Droplets

The day went down the toilet after this.

Wednesday, August 04, 2010

Coupon Lady

I got stuck in line behind the coupon lady from hell today. I was so intent on getting my mission accomplished that I didn't realize it until it was too late.

I pushed my cart into an aisle of the grocery store that did not have the "open' light on. I looked at the checker dude and asked if he was still open and he assured me he was. I didn't realize at the time that he was so distracted/busy with coupon lady that he couldn't take the time to flip a switch.

I got up there and since the woman was already firmly ensconced at the station where one divvies up cash/charge/debit I didn't look. I assumed I was close to getting my stuff scanned and paid for. Boy, was I wrong.

I put up my reusable grocery totes and then started throwing my heavy crap on the conveyor belt. Checker Dude looked at me and told me Coupon Lady wasn't done unloading her cart.

THEN I looked. THEN I realized her cart was half full. She hadn't been paying -- she was leafing through the store ad and shuffling through approximately 1,279 coupons that she had in an envelope. And she was contesting every charge that came up on the screen by going through the ads and her coupons -- which weren't well organized.

To help I started taking things out of her cart and placing them on the belt. But there was more!! She had shit on the shelf below the main basket. Holy crap! When her merchandise actually moved along, I saw the bag of grapes was open and the movement caused one to fall on the floor between our carts.

Checker Dude was flustered, but kept his composure. He complied with every request she made to check the ad, the coupon, whatever. Even when things had already been scanned, couponed and checked she called him on some two cents she was due. Checker Dude had Bagger Boy find and remove contested item. Sometimes he had to call corporate for a judgment call, I swear.

To pass the time I looked at magazines. I didn't know who any of the people on the covers were, big surprise. Bigger surprise -- I looked at magazines and did not cold cock this penny pinching hag. Biggest surprise -- it amused me to watch Checker Dude being pushed to the limit and not cracking. Kind of reminds me of my waitress days when patrons did not die of their obnoxiousness and left a tip besides.

Coupon Lady finally gave up on her penny pinching because her ice cream was melting. Then she pulled out two 100 dollar bills to pay for her purchases. Checker Dude nearly cracked since he did not have much for change. Coupon Lady settled for 5's and 1's ("How many ones??") I guess her melting ice cream took precedence since she accepted them.

Coupon Lady apologized to me for the delay. I told her I would remember her and never get behind her again. When she was gone I told Checker Dude he was a prince, which he was. He reminded me of the store motto "a friendly smile in every aisle".

As I was leaving I told Bagger Boy and Checker Dude that Coupon Lady lost a grape and would be back for it. I could hear their sphincters snap.

Sunday, August 01, 2010

The End Of July

I managed to get some decent shots of one of my favorite insects. I can't get enough of nature's little helicopter.

Blue sky / dragon fly

Hairy belly -- who knew? (Besides Crab)

My friend, Hulles, is back in Iowa caring for his ailing mother. We got together Friday night. On my way out of the house Crab called to me, "Have fun on your date!" And I did.

Date night with Hulles

Crab mowed on Saturday while I was upstairs digging dust bunnies out. Warning to my future guests -- I'm sure I did not get them all. Please do not look for them. When I came down and sat at my desk I saw this stuck in the window.

Mowing day surprise