Goat Woman

I got cornered by Goat Woman today. My fault. I could have easily avoided her if I didn't smoke, which I shouldn't anyway. Even the governor has tried to help me quit by raising the tabacco tax by a dollar a pack. But I digresss..

Goat Woman has her name because it's all she talks about. Give her a chance to get a word in edgewise and the subject of goats comes up. Because I was too polite to tell her to shut up during the initial goat talk, I am stuck with goat talk whenever I see her. Even if the prevailing subject is racism in America or the cost of W's war.

Goat Woman is the name I gave her, of course. I doubt if it is her real name. I name people that I see on campus. There is Late Guy, Big Late Guy, Horse Girl and Cotton To, among others. Cotton To got his name because one day I overheard a snippet of conversation in which he said, "If there's one thing I don't cotton to, it's liars and cheats."

I want to say this about goat talk: I can talk the talk. I have goat experience. It is behind me and now I don't need to hear some neophyte blubbering about it. Goat people are weird, which is why I am not one anymore. I choose to be weird on other levels.

Spunky and Molly, circa 1982