August 7, 2010

Bright

Heart of the matter

Droplets

More Droplets

The day went down the toilet after this.

Coupon Lady

I got stuck in line behind the coupon lady from hell today. I was so intent on getting my mission accomplished that I didn't realize it until it was too late.

I pushed my cart into an aisle of the grocery store that did not have the "open' light on. I looked at the checker dude and asked if he was still open and he assured me he was. I didn't realize at the time that he was so distracted/busy with coupon lady that he couldn't take the time to flip a switch.

I got up there and since the woman was already firmly ensconced at the station where one divvies up cash/charge/debit I didn't look. I assumed I was close to getting my stuff scanned and paid for. Boy, was I wrong.

I put up my reusable grocery totes and then started throwing my heavy crap on the conveyor belt. Checker Dude looked at me and told me Coupon Lady wasn't done unloading her cart.

THEN I looked. THEN I realized her cart was half full. She hadn't been paying -- she was leafing through the store ad and shuffling through approximately 1,279 coupons that she had in an envelope. And she was contesting every charge that came up on the screen by going through the ads and her coupons -- which weren't well organized.

To help I started taking things out of her cart and placing them on the belt. But there was more!! She had shit on the shelf below the main basket. Holy crap! When her merchandise actually moved along, I saw the bag of grapes was open and the movement caused one to fall on the floor between our carts.

Checker Dude was flustered, but kept his composure. He complied with every request she made to check the ad, the coupon, whatever. Even when things had already been scanned, couponed and checked she called him on some two cents she was due. Checker Dude had Bagger Boy find and remove contested item. Sometimes he had to call corporate for a judgment call, I swear.

To pass the time I looked at magazines. I didn't know who any of the people on the covers were, big surprise. Bigger surprise -- I looked at magazines and did not cold cock this penny pinching hag. Biggest surprise -- it amused me to watch Checker Dude being pushed to the limit and not cracking. Kind of reminds me of my waitress days when patrons did not die of their obnoxiousness and left a tip besides.

Coupon Lady finally gave up on her penny pinching because her ice cream was melting. Then she pulled out two 100 dollar bills to pay for her purchases. Checker Dude nearly cracked since he did not have much for change. Coupon Lady settled for 5's and 1's ("How many ones??") I guess her melting ice cream took precedence since she accepted them.

Coupon Lady apologized to me for the delay. I told her I would remember her and never get behind her again. When she was gone I told Checker Dude he was a prince, which he was. He reminded me of the store motto "a friendly smile in every aisle".

As I was leaving I told Bagger Boy and Checker Dude that Coupon Lady lost a grape and would be back for it. I could hear their sphincters snap.

The End Of July

I managed to get some decent shots of one of my favorite insects. I can't get enough of nature's little helicopter.

Blue sky / dragon fly

Hairy belly -- who knew? (Besides Crab)

My friend, Hulles, is back in Iowa caring for his ailing mother. We got together Friday night. On my way out of the house Crab called to me, "Have fun on your date!" And I did.

Date night with Hulles

Crab mowed on Saturday while I was upstairs digging dust bunnies out. Warning to my future guests -- I'm sure I did not get them all. Please do not look for them. When I came down and sat at my desk I saw this stuck in the window.

Mowing day surprise

WTF

I consider myself somewhat computer savvy. You may not think it to look at me, but I am not a total idiot. Not constantly, anyway.

Tonight Captain Crab sent me a YouTube link that I cannot open to save my life. YouTube wants me to prove something, though I'm not sure what. My age?? How bad can a video about a Winnebago be??

Google and YT must be in cahoots now, yet YT does not know me. I know I have a YT account, I know I have a Google account and yet the twain are not meeting. I tried several times to get in, to have YT tell my Gmail WTF I was doing wrong, all to no avail.

And the captcha, there to confound non-humans, has totally confounded me. Here are the last 5 of the approximately 1,239 attempts I made to access one stupid video.

I give up.

Office Kitties

Hey Bob's gender became obvious a few weeks ago. Since I did not get HER into the vet for an operation I can expect another display of cat misery soon. When she is her normal self, she likes to help out in my office.

Office Kitty Is Too Big

Snotty Pants likes to help, too.

Snotty Pants Paper Weight

Storms

Wednesday was a hot, hot day with a "heat index" of 114. The humidity was brutal. A cold front moved through and the ensuing storms moved around me, barely getting me wet. But they did leave a rainbow.

Rainbow

It's there, take my word for it. To the West the sky was brightening.

to the West

Somewhere last night got pounded by rain and wind. I swatted mosquitoes and photo stitched. No sewing required.

Panorama

I Need Crab

I need him to take the pressure off full-blown adolescent kitty activities. When he's home, he complains about Hey Bob and I laugh. Crab left yesterday morning and Hey Bob is taking her teenage angst out on me.

This morning I woke to a newspaper knocked off the table and partially shredded on the floor. Ha ha. I sat at the computer and all of a sudden had no connection. I discovered Hey Bob had turned off the power strip that the router is plugged in to. Ha ha again.

I went to town today and purchased a much coveted item -- hydrocortisone cream -- to alleviate the itching from the boil like mosquito bites I am suffering from. I removed the tube from the cardboard box and, like a fool, left it on the table.

I found the tube later on the floor of the kitchen, the top flipped open and with tiny tooth perforations on the tube. Less funny.

Like a total idiot, I put the tube back on the table. This evening I went to a meeting and came home and could not find my hydrocortisone. So. Not. Funny.

I can't wait for Crab be the object of Hey Bob's torment. Call me. I wake up at 3 a.m. when the itching gets to me.

Rejection

I cleaned out some file cabinets this afternoon. One folder contained rejection letters for various jobs I'd applied for in the early to mid 90's. I have no idea why I wanted kept them. To tell you the truth, I only remember applying for one of the jobs.

It was a memorable application and interview. The owner/HR director/smooth operator was favorably impressed because of many the resumes he'd received in the mail, mine was the only one mailed flat in a large envelope.

I was unfavorably impressed by the fact that the operational headquarters was in the basement of his house and involved typing up invoices and mailing them out. HELLO -- it was 19 frigging 95 and I did not type any more, I word processed on a computer and printed on an ultra modern dot matrix printer. Upstairs. With daylight streaming in.

I was not disappointed to be rejected for the job. I would have been laughing hysterically when the owner/HR director/smooth operator got convicted for various felonious activities regarding his so called business had he not taken huge amounts of money from sweet people from his church.

I really, really reject that.

Bob's Back

Hey Bob is home, as in "in the house". Snotty Pants is outside again, on the concrete stoop that faces west, rolling in the rays of sunset.

Did I tell you that it was a BEAUTIFUL DAY?? I want to live in a place where the weather is like this all of the time. My BFF tells me that place is San Diego.

Now an update on my update: All creatures great, small, old and fat, are in the house. Now if only someone would cook supper for this great, old, fat creature.

Bad Parenting / Snatched From the Jaws of Death

A week ago tonight, Captain Crab let Hey Bob and Skittles (aka Snotty Pants) out to frolic in the yard. Snotty Pants came back in and Hey Bob did not. I went to bed with SP and after we were settled, Crab came and took SP to send her outside to bring Bob back in. It did not work.

I woke up at 2:30, had to pee and, what the heck, look for cats. I went outside in my underwear and over sized "Howard Dean Precinct Captain" T shirt to look for them. SP came right away and I put her in the house before wandering around barefooted on grass and gravel with a flashlight.

I saw the reflection of animal eyes on the road. I hoped it was Hey Bob and not a possum or coon because I was NOT in the mood to go back for the .22. I approached the animal and it was ..... a large, strange cat. I was dumbfounded since it has been a while since I've randomly fed anything that moves I've seen a stray cat on the property.

I circled it and it ran into the yard towards the house. I walked to the the front porch and saw reflected eyes again. It was Hey Bob! Home from his adventure! Unscathed by the rabid, blood thirsty tiger that was prowling!

The next morning Captain Crab was relieved of his duties of indulging Hey Bob's wanderlust whims. And he was very, very good. Crab, I mean. He took Bob out only while holding him. Which is kind of cruel.

It was a glorious day today. Weather we deserve! Windows open! Birds singing! Cats going bonkers! I let them out. They frolicked under the beautiful, fragile willows and long grass. It was easy to get Snotty Pants back to the house.

The Willows

Jail Break

Taste of Freedom

And …. Gone…

I will get him back. He's been snatched from the jaws of death before.

Good Grief

To all the citizens worrying about the resources getting sucked away by illegal immigrants: look in your own neighborhood.

I have witnessed, over and over, young women (white citizens) taking advantage of government programs and complaining about them!! And it's pissing me off.

What's pissing me off even more is someone (The Incredible Mind Suck) now gloating that a state program HAS to pay $150 a month for a year PLUS the normal food package for her 2nd (out of 3 illegitimate kids) to get proper nutrition.

TIMS is someone who used college loan money to buy herself a red sofa and a video camera when she only had one child. Because you never know when free money is going to land in your lap again.

Unless you keep having babies.

It's About Time

It's about time. Time that has passed. Time in which I haven't posted. So now I am playing catch up. Maybe the title should have been Heinz.

Get it? Catch up? Ketchup? I think I am channeling Hulles, whose warped sense of humor can take a metaphor and wring it like a farm wife on the first step of preparing a chicken dinner. Let's get back on track now...

On March 18 we still had tons of snow to melt.

The Snow on March 18

Goblinbox was posting pictures of flowers in bloom in Walla Walla, Washington while we were waiting for the other shoe (blizzard) to fall. As late as April 4th (Easter), there was still snow lingering in ditches, fencerows and groves. H, coming home from what we presume to be the frozen tundra of Minnesota could not believe how much snow was in Iowa.

Oh, Spring! I welcomed it with open arms. Winter was brutal. We lived buried in snow for months on end. But Spring is finally here! I love it and want to live with it forever!

Sweet, Sweet Baby Iris

In between the snow melt and spring's arrival I waited for action at the bird feeder. There was a very squirrelly squirrel. Do squirrels molt? This one did. Crab thought I was seeing things but here's the evidence.

Molting Rodent

On the cat front: Skittles loves to sit in my lap and chew on stuff I'm wearing. Her favorite is my gold necklace (a gift from Crab for my 40th birthday). Sometimes, though, the necklace is hidden under layers of clothing. If Skittles is lucky, I will wear something with buttons. She tries her best to chew the buttons off my clothing. I find this very strange.

Button Eater

Last Saturday I went to a baby shower. I hate baby showers, wedding showers and all showers that do not require you to get wet, lather and rinse. I went and survived all the sugar that was fed to the guests. I am surprised the guests who ate from the sugar buffet did not bounce off the walls and punch holes in them. I went because I just had to see for myself it the honored infant was as cute in real life. He was.

Cute Baby

And now, just for K8, updates on Hey Bob:

• He can be a total terror
• He can be very sweet
• He is probably a she
• It will still be Hey Bob regardless of its (future neutered) gender

Hey Bob

Your Eyes Would Bleed

--if I had posted my thoughts since I last time I ventured into the blogosphere. I considered turning on the recorder on my MP3 player and capturing ramblings for posting. But I haven't. And you're welcome.

Upcoming posts will be about:

• Thank God Spring is here, complete with photos
  
• Hey Bob is growing up, but also getting annoying
• If you smoke, DO NOT GET THE PRESCRIPTION FOR CHANTIX if you want to quit
  
• Forming vigilante forces for lynching physicians who prescribe Chantix
• And my favorite: Economics don't trickle down, but crazy sure does

March

March came in like a lamb. Like a little bunny gently hopping -- over the giant drifts and shoveled piles of snow that look like they will never melt. The snow on Columbus Day, so long ago, was a portent of the endless crap to follow. It has been a long winter.

January was an endless stream of snowstorms, sub-zero temperatures, ice storms and funerals. Friends and relatives died one after the other. Then I had poor, old, sick Mouse (the cat) put to sleep.

Mouse's funeral is pending. If I die in the winter you can put my funeral on hold, too. And like I told H while sitting next to her at Lutheran funerals, if organ music is played and you force the handful of "mourners" (celebrants?) to sing (mumble/mouth) hymns I will haunt you forever.

My computer died, too. It succumbed to the viruses and trojans that had plagued it for months and were exacerbated by the ministrations of "Secure IT". I have been back-peddling trying to get stuff back to normal in computerland and it is a bumpy road.

A bright spot, or maybe it's a stupid spot, is the new addition to the family. I was making an effort to stay away from the Humane Society after losing Mouse and then...a friend had seen a kitten in the parking lot at work. When she got home heard mewing. She found the kitten under her hood. I went to just look at him and that is how Hey Bob came to live with us. Hey Bob does not give me the time of day. He is Crab's cat through and through.

News Flash

We are under a winter storm watch. I've lost count the watches, warnings, days of blizzard conditions, snowfall totals, how many times we've had freezing rain and the number of days school has been canceled. I think last week was the first full week of school since some time in November. They had an early dismissal on Friday, though, because it was snowing.

At least there are breaks between bouts of weather we do not want, giving one a chance to run to town for milk and cat food. When thousands sat in the dark for days we lost our electricity only for a few minutes. I am most grateful for having electricity when the weather is so bad. This is me, counting my blessings.

A few weeks ago the road grader got a little too close to the ditch. It's understandable since it is really hard to tell what is ditch and what is road.

Stuck

This is how a road grader gets unstuck.

How to Get Unstuck

Sorry, it was a cold day and I took pictures from inside the house. I didn't want to alienate the county workers by photographing from the road or the yard. I'm sure gawking and photographing them from my window did not bother them at all.

Winter has been tough on everyone. Here's a squirrel eating peanut butter and cornmeal out of a feeder I made for woodpeckers.

Rascal

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yesterday was a nice day. It was warm by winter standards and very still. I tried going for a walk down the back lane but gave up. I needed snowshoes. So I took a stroll down the road.

The Lane

RR Xing

Tracks to Whiteness

Building

Building Blocks

Doorways

It's snowing now. If the thought of what's to follow weren't so darn depressing it would be a very pretty snowfall.

It Just Gets Better And Better

Yesterday the light, fluffy snow fell and fell. My car looked like this:

Today that fluffy snow is flying about with wild abandon. It is not very pleasant. My dog (the only one who has actually been outside today) has to step into the unknown, since we can't see the step.

I cleaned that off yesterday!

Out the kitchen window:

Captain Crab is losing his truck:

And I am hoping to hear that Hannita decided NOT to make a road trip from Chicago to Iowa today.

Changes

I'm listening to "The Human Spark" on PBS right now. Alan Alda is exploring primitive man. He keeps saying "Neandertal". I studied this stuff years and years ago in grade or high school, and back in those neolithic times, we called early man "Neanderthal". Every time Alan says "Neandertal", I get a tic.

Maybe he's right. I don't know. I do remember suffering great confusion when out of the blue the capital of China quit being Peking and started being Beijing. I'm guessing the people of China got ticked that the Westerners started calling Beijing something else because it was easier for them.

But I really, really doubt that there's a coalition of pissed off Neanderthals demanding political correctness.

Or everything I ever learned in school was wrong, wrong, wrong.