Saturday, August 28, 2010

Chit Chat

To those of you who know me, even if just in cyberspace, you know that Thursday night was my first night of the league bowling season. I was less than excited to start a winter sport during the height of summer and kind of hoped that my team had had a private meeting and kicked this old broad out. No such luck.

I went. I bowled. I kept score. I sat and waited my turn. And when I wasn't keeping score, bowling or waiting I kept my eye on team mate Chit Chat, who was boring holes in the brain of our potential new sub with a constant stream of mindless blather.

I watched the bowlers in the rotation and evilly eye-balled Chit Chat when it was her turn to bowl. Often it was necessary to shout "CHIT CHAT -- LANE WHATEVER!" The rest of us agreed that we were happy that it was not our brains that being drained of vital fluid.

One of my team mates brought up a good point -- that it was a "talent" to be able to ALWAYS have something to say.

Team mate said she was in situations all the time when she never knew what to say. I had to agree. That is me all the time. I've seen Chit Chat accost people who barely knew her and engage them in long conversations. Such a talent would never keep me from funerals (well, except for the churchy part) or wedding receptions where the only person I knew was the groom's mother.

When bowling was over Chit Chat commandeered a conversation from another bowler about the attempted suicide of her sister and turned the light on herself. Isn't it also a talent to know when to shut the fuck up? When to listen? When to put the keys in the ignition and drive away?

Since I could not afford the loss of more brain matter, I got in my car and drove away.


Kate said...

Gay Boyfriend is the same way. I finally made a sign on a stick that I put next to my chair. It says, "Shut it." And I pull it out when he keeps blathering on and on. I LOVE IT! Make one. Even if you never use it on her. Makes you feel powerful.

pj said...

I LOVE that idea!! But at the bowling alley it would say "SHUT UP AND BOWL!". I bought a T shirt at state tournament once that had that on it, but it didn't fit me then & I'm a lot fatter now.

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