For Your Consideration

Two images. One of the morning commute in Minneapolis, the other shot out my living room window. The images were taken within minutes of each other. Keep in mind, my living room window is 175 miles south of Minneapolis.

Trains, Planes and Automobiles

Hannita orchestrated the Last Minute Great Midwest Blogger Fest and it was a great success. It consisted of Hannita (driving from Chicago through a raging blizzard), H (driving from her boyfriend's apartment in Ames), and me (driving 50 miles southwest).

Trains

I arrived in Small Town and was surprised that I had to wait for a train. This town is my half way pit stop to Des Moines and I've never waited for a train before. I was early and went into the cafe and grabbed a table and waited for the party to begin. I was there 5 minutes and another train went by.

Hannita arrived and we had barely made our introductions when yet another train went by. We ordered breakfast. It was served, we commenced to eating and I lost track of how many trains went by. Then H arrived and we continued chatting and eating and listening to the train traffic. I may have ignored the wonderful company because I was so fascinated by the amount of train traffic. I live by the tracks and I saw more trains from the Chit Chat Cafe in one hour than I see at home in a week.

I didn't photograph the trains and the traffic backed up off Walnut Street. What's wrong with me?? But I did get this of the cafe:

Chit Chat. You gotta love it.

And the inside was all decked out for Easter, as evidenced by this lovely portrait of Hannita and me, under the Easter Bunny arch:

Bunny Arch at the Chit Chat.

H had noticed an interesting tableau on her way to the cafe. I took a pictures on my way home since I had to wait for a train anyway.

Confusion House.

At first glance the place was all about Easter. But if you looked closely inside the sun room, you could see they just couldn't let go of Christmas.

Christmas never dies.

I went home from there but not without worry, as my best friend was trying to get from Philly to BFE Iowa.

Planes, Automobiles

She left Philly early Friday morning. She was worried about the 35 minute window at Milwaukee to catch the flight to DM. Not to worry! Her flight arrived on time at 9:00 a.m. The only problem was that it was snowing in Milwaukee and once she was there, she was THERE. It was 3 p.m. before any announcements were made about the airport being closed and all passengers being screwed. My friend compared it to a disaster zone with shell shocked people stuck in limbo, food kiosks closed and no hope in sight.

My friend booked a hotel room and a rental car and spent the night in Milwaukee hotel with room service and high speed internet. I knew she'd be up at 2 a.m. but my mistake was thinking she'd be on the road shortly thereafter. I didn't hear from her Saturday at all and I was worried.

I called her mother's Sunday morning and talked to my friend. She did get up at 2 a.m. but didn't make it home until 9 p.m. Saturday night. There were mishaps and missteps on her end and miscalculations on mine.

I worry because... because... it keeps the really bad crap from happening.

Forced Spring

I have spring on the brain. It's been there for months but now my brain is closer to reality.

Captain Crab had a post with a picture of my tomato Christmas tree. I've kept this plant alive for years, which amazed me. I didn't know it was possible. All this winter we've had a lovely ripe tomato to eat now and then. (Confession time) I've gotten more tomatoes than Crab has. I can't help it if the fruit reaches optimal ripeness when he is on the road.

When the days started to get longer the plant really started to put out, blossom wise. I haven't eaten a tomato in a while but this thing is a blooming and fruit setting fool.

Tomato Blossom.

Green Tomato.

Tomato Blossom.

If you click on the last picture and see it in a larger format you will see a cat hair among the hairs of the tomato plant. And then you will know why I scoff at Hannita who suggested her perfectly lovely present might be somewhat tainted.

Sorry, Gwen, if all this talk about eating tomatoes is making you queasy. I just don't get the non-tomato-eating vegetarian thing. It's just not right.

Hannita Update

She called! She survived the treacherous journey through a raging blizzard!

Actually, she said the drive was not that bad.

So H, if you're paying attention, we have a date for 10 a.m. at the Chit Chat on the old Lincoln Highway (main street).

Spring Sprung

Spring came this morning. Leaves didn't suddenly appear on trees but a flower bloomed.

Daffodil.

Sweet Hannita sent me a lovely present. Out of the blue. I was stunned. I still am. Her note cracked me up. She was concerned about the possibility of cat hair on the pristine hand-embroidered towel she sent. Cat hair?? I am more concerned about washing the towel in my rusty well water. I may have to frame it instead.

Hannita and I have tentative plans to meet tomorrow. Last night I dreamt about her and slept fitfully. She was to come from Chicago to Boone County, Iowa today. The weather between here and there was not good. I called her phone today after I got her gift and got her voicemail. She has not called back.

I don't know the who she is visiting so I can't call them. I don't know if she made the trip through the snow. I just don't know...

An Annual Event

My Mary Engelbreit daily calendar has a cheerful green illustration for St. Patrick's Day. Mary Engelbreit does not live in Iowa. My illustration for the day is this, a rerun from last St. Patrick's Day:

More snow.

Wicked Witch of the West

I'm melting! Melting!

We have had several days above freezing! With sun! There are only a few spots left of the lane glacier. I didn't think that would melt until July.

Today I saw my first robin and the red-wing blackbirds have returned. The trees are alive with their twittering chatter. It feels like it might be spring!

Pick a Time. Then Stick With It.

I hate the switch to and from Daylight Savings Time. I don't care which time you want to live in. Just pick one and stick with it. Right now it is 9:44 a.m. and I am ready for lunch. I know it is only 8:44, but I feel like I've been up for days.

Crab was kidding me yesterday about sleeping so late. I hadn't switched any of the clocks. He wouldn't have thought anything of the changing time himself but he looked at his cell phone. Cell phones do not lie and follow government mandates explicitly.

We listened to NPR until mid afternoon while we adjusted ourselves. Sunday Weekend Edition had a story about the time change that had me wanting to reach through theradio and strangle Liane Hansen.

Wanting to strangle Liane is common on Sunday mornings. I hate her cackling laugh. I despise the way she butts in on contestants playing the puzzle and then is so patronizing afterwards. But this Sunday she had an interview with a California dairy farmer:

Daylight saving time took effect Sunday morning. While many people complain about losing an hour of sleep, humans aren't the only ones affected by the time change. According to organic milk farmer Doug Beretta of Santa Rosa California, cows also have a problem adjusting to the new schedule, too.

Excuse me, make that an organic milk farmer.

During the interview Liane asked the farmer about the cows stress and confusion at being milked an hour earlier. She never once asked what I thought was the most obvious question: Why milk them earlier at all? Why disrupt the schedule of these poor creatures that you have trained to perform as machines? Why, why, why?

I told Crab the story of my brothers who were milking (6 a.m. and 6 p.m.) for my neighbor while he was gone. The first Sunday morning after the time change, the neighbor's wife called at 6 a.m. DST wondering where the boys were. She claimed the cows were anxious.

Then Crab related the story of an old-timer from this neighborhood who never changed his clocks to DST. "My cows ain't on daylight savings time and neither am I."

Banana

The windchill this morning when I got up was -18.

But it was a really warm -18, it being March and all.

Orange You Glad?

Knock, knock.

Orange you glad I haven't complained about the weather lately? Crab posted about the guy who complained. If you followed the link and read the comments to that letter to the editor, you'd see a consensus that Iowans who chose to live here full time have a right to complain. Others do not. So I stopped complaining just to be contrary. (Plus one day when I complained to H, she told me to quit whining because we weren't going to get very much snow.)

But the weather has not improved that much. I have not posted about the snowfalls, freezing rain and other crap that seems to happen at two, (or if we're lucky) three day intervals. We did have two thawing days last week but stiff winds sucked the joy out of the thaw. Not that I'm complaining!

This morning I woke up to a Christmas card scene. The ugly, dirty drifts, sunflower seed shells and other detritus was obscured by a gentle white blanket. It was lovely and very deceiving. I forgot that the lane and much of the yard was still a glacier.

So on my way to the compost pile with a container of kitchen refuse, I fell. Boy, was I surprised. I looked up to make sure no one saw me. Whew! At least pain came without the guffaws of bystanders.

FINE

H gives me calendars every year for Christmas. Every time she comes home she checks my calendar, i.e., she flips it to the correct month. Last year she gave me two calendars which vexed her twice as much when she came home.

This year she gave me my favorite -- a Mary Engelbreit daily desk calendar. Each day has a one of ME's sweet illustrations along with a famous quote or saying. They are corny, I know, but I like them. The calendar displays the correct month and most of the time, the correct day. Less work for H.

My favorite ME illustrations deal with the Queen of Everything or Princess Quite A Lot. And who could not love "Life Is Just a Chair of Bowlies?".

Since I'm all about intellectual property and copyrights I did not scan today's entry for a post. Instead I made my own illustration which better fits my mood.

My post was going to be "Never, Ever Volunteer Unless You Are Rich or a Lawyer". More precisely the title would be "Never Get Involved in the Conception of an Organization (Unless You Are Rich or a Lawyer)". If you are a lawyer experienced in non-profits and would like to help me wade through government forms pro bono, please leave me a comment. Let's talk. In the mean time, I AM FINE.

It's Always Too Good To Be True

Back a long, long time ago I fell in love with a Masterpiece Theater series called "Lillie". Here is a description about it from Amazon:

If ever there was an unofficial queen of England, it was Lillie Langtry (1852-1929), a woman of such dazzling beauty and charm that no man could resist her. And if ever there was a definitive film of her life, it is this TV series. The 1979 production follows her on her rise from obscurity on the Isle of Jersey to worldwide celebrity in London high society and later in America...

It starred Francesca Annis who played the part so masterfully that even I was in love with her. Recently I have been thinking about DVDs I would like to own and Googled this. I really, really heart this series.

Imagine my great joy today when I found "Lillie" in a bin of previously viewed DVDs marked $4.99! A future rainy day treat! The fact that there was only one DVD did not faze me. Maybe the whole series fits on one DVD! I got it for $4.99!

It wasn't until I looked it up again on Amazon tonight that I see (glaring, screaming at me) it is an eleven hour series. The 13 episodes come on 4 discs. I own (for only $4.99!) episode 13 with bonus segments.

Yes, I know I have frequent (continuous?) bouts of total stupidity.

I Miss Abbie Hoffman

"The police are not here to create disorder. The police are here to preserve disorder."
Chicago Mayor Richard Daley

I heard Fresh Air today. Terry Gross was interviewing Brett Morgen about his film "Chicago 10"*. The animated movie tells the story of the trial of Abbie and 6 others for conspiracy and inciting to riot during the 1968 Democratic convention in Chicago. Mayor Daley's statement about the riots is cited above.

I stole Abbie's book "Steal This Book" from my brother who, I'm sure, stole it from someone. Someone later stole the book from me, so it all evened out.

No one could mix it up quite like Abbie. And here we are again -- another stupid war, another stupid president. I think we are due for another character like Abbie.


*#8 was Bobby Seale, whose trial was separated from the others. He was bound and gagged during his trial. No shit.
#9 & #10 are the lawyers that defended them.

Looking for Boring

Get Yourself Some Boring -- I miss your blog. I miss your take on American Idol. I cannot slog through this without you. It is killing me.

Why do the judges heap praises on people that make me want to reach for my earplugs? Are the contestants really that good? Or are the judge's ears dead from week after week of listening to this?

You are the only one I trust. Plus you were very funny, too. Please come back.

Look At My New Rabbit!

Rabbit has a new look! I'm pretty pleased with myself even if I am too stupid to rewrite the code. I am, however, clever enough to redo the graphics and make them work. Woot!

Why?

People who have been tuning in for the current weather report in central Iowa may wonder why I continue to hang in here when I have been so miserable. Gwen was right, on Crab's island I would not have my nuthatch, who so graciously allowed me to photograph him this morning.

My personal nuthatch.

And I would miss my favorite tree that I planted when it was just a little stick.

My favorite tree.

And I would miss a day like today. Brilliant and dazzling with diamond dust sprinkling down.

Dazzling.

Diamond Dust.

Riches.

Global Warming

The wind chill was -35 when I got up. Four hours later it was -27. I am holding out for -20.

When my blood thins maybe I will find something else to talk about.

Whether the Weather...

...will overtake this blog or not.

I hate to beat this dead horse but damn, it is cold!

Time Capsule

I cleaned out my frig today. 'Nuf said.

Thar She Blows!

It has been windy all day. This morning it snowed / rained slush. The good news is that it was a balmy 30 degrees above zero.

The precipitation has stopped but the wind has not. The forecast is for "bitterly cold" temps tomorrow (wind chills in the negative range).

In Iowa we always have something to talk about. And what we always talk about is the weather. And I am sick of it. I would love weather so benign that it would never come up in conversation. (See here and donate if you can.)

We need to change the term "global warming" to "f%@!ed up weather that everyone is f#!$ing sick of".

Somebody New

I don't have very exciting birds at my feeder. Mostly I have just blue jays, sparrows and juncos (plus the pheasants taking refuge in the trees). The pesky squirrels do not count as birds but do count for entertainment value. This year has been exceptional for birds with a pair of downy woodpeckers and one hairy woodpecker who have been around all winter.

But today I saw a nuthatch! He's so cute I want him to live here forever.

You know I didn't take this picture because if I had the background would be white from the damn snow. The little bugger wouldn't let me picture him.

My mom called today and I was thrilled to give my new bird report. While I was talking to her a wild turkey walked up into her yard.

This Is Getting Old

For the second morning in a row I woke up to this:

More snow.

More snow.

It is 10 degrees right now. I guess I should be happy that it is above zero.

Are Stigmas All Bad?

Back in the olden days when I was in high school, there was a stigma against unwed mothers. Not that it didn't happen, it did.

These days (around here at least) there seems to be an epidemic of young, unwed women (and girls) becoming pregnant and flaunting it. They have baby showers that are announced in the local paper. They share Title 19 tips. And some continue to procreate without the benefit of a partner to help them nurture their children.

Am I nuts, or are stigmas sometimes a good thing?

Much Ado About Nothing

Because I am supposedly "good with computers", I got drafted into this part time job setting up and testing voting machines. On Super Tuesday when the rest of the country was selecting nominees for president, our county had a vote on a 1 ¢ sales tax.

This one cent tax is to be split up among the towns according to their size. A big hunk of it is to go to the county itself. There were 2 ballots at each poll -- one ballot for people living inside an incorporated area and one ballot for all of us unincorporated, disenfranchised people. Each poll had its own set of specially printed ballots.

I was asked to go to the poll and sit for the last three hours of voting. I don't know why. My job was to remove the computer card from the machine and take it to the courthouse as soon as the polls closed at eight. One of the ladies in charge of the poll was suppose to take all the materials and the paper trail back to the courthouse when they were done. I thought this was stupid and told them as long as I was risking my life on snowy roads for a computer card, I might as well take the rest of the junk, too.

The three polling ladies were there for the duration -- one hour set up and 8 hours of the polls being open. In the three hours I was there, three people came in to vote.

The ladies played a dice game and I did Sudokus. Around 7 p.m. the auditor called my cell and told me to wait until the roads cleared in the morning to haul everything in. I was relieved that I did not have to drive through blowing snow in the dark.

We closed up shop at 8 and I phoned the courthouse with the results. It was very important to let the courthouse know immediately what had happened so they could post it on the website. The ladies signed their names in 20 different places and everything was locked securely and loaded into the trunk of my car.

This morning I checked the website and no results had been posted. It made me so happy to know I had stood outside in a snow storm trying to get a decent signal on my phone last night. I drove to the courthouse and at 8 a.m. hauled a tote box, a big portfolio and 2 bags of ballots up the stairs to the auditor's office.

And the auditor's office wasn't open.

CLOSED.

Yes, that is my thumb in the picture. I can barely use my cell phone as it is. I thought I was doing good to get the picture on my computer since I don't have a plan that pays for picture phones.

I wandered into the recorder's office and found out that the auditor doesn't open until 8:30. So I drug the stuff in there, went to the coffee shop across the street and filled my mug and came back to wait. And take more pictures.

Inside the courthouse.

The auditor came at 8:25 and I handed over all the stuff and signed some more papers and verified that yes, indeed, out of the 185 ballots that had been printed for our precinct, nineteen had been used by voters.

A Solid Foundation For Marriage

There was some twittering going on at the bowling alley last night. A diamond ring was being flashed by a certain young woman.

I had to ask who gave it to her.

The guy she calls and idiot and an asshole? Who she's said she hates? The guy she kicks out at least once a month?

Yep, that guy.

I wonder if her little sister's recent engagement has something to do with her suddenly sporting a diamond from that guy.

It is too late to hope they will not spawn and continue this cycle of stupidity. They already have 2 kids.

Relative Temperature

Around these parts, when the temp hits 46 in September you think you are going to freeze to death. When it hits 46 in January you think you've died and gone to heaven.

Last week when we were freezing our keesters off, my mom told me to look forward to my grandma's birthday on January 27 because it usually meant a reprieve from the arctic temperatures. Grandma's birthday = January thaw.

January 27th was a great day with temps well above freezing. My dog, Gretchen, and I went for a walk.

Gretchen enjoying the January thaw.

Fence in the snow.

Corn stalks

January 28th proved to be a better day yet when the temps hit the "died and gone to heaven" range. I scooped snow out of the lane in front of the house. I still couldn't penetrate the 2" thick glacier to find the actual lane, but I tried. It was almost too warm for a coat. It was a beautiful day.

This morning I woke to the sound of the wind sweeping down the plains. Gale force. A poor little hairy woodpecker clung to the tree afraid to take a ride on the swinging suet basket. Then it started to snow. Sideways. Temps dropped and the wind chill factor was -40. Travel was not advised. Roads closed.

At 5 p.m. I ventured out to throw seed to the birds and get the mail. The visibility had improved a great deal, but the temperature was no better. There were sun dogs, always a sign that it is too damn cold. I wanted to picture them, but you are going to have to settle for a picture that I took on New Year's Day. Another damn cold day.

Sun Dogs on New Year's Day.

Feeding Critters

It has been so cold. And it's snowed. And did I mention it has been cold?

I have been feeding the birds every day. We've had one squirrel here for a long time. Word must have gotten around that there are good eats at Crab & PJ's because now there are two squirrels who visit.

Here are some pics from my critter cam, shot through a dirty, foggy window.

Digging.

Snow face.

Blue Jay and Squirrel

Pheasant

There is a January thaw in our forecast. You can't imagine how happy I will be when the temperature reaches 32 degrees above zero.

Anesthetized

TV is a great anesthetic. My dentist knows this and has installed a TV for every exam chair in his office. I think genecologists should take a page from Dr. Larry's book and follow suit. Only their TV's would be on the ceiling, facing down.

I have a rule at the dentist: show no pain. If you show pain, they know there is a problem. If there is a problem, they will cause more pain trying to identify the problem. Once they identify the problem, there are many more expensive (and painful) visits. Therefore, it is important to show no pain while getting teeth cleaned and examined. The television helps me do that.

Usually the hygenist lets me choose what I want to watch while I zone out. But this morning I had my first ever 8 a.m. appointment. I found out the rules are different in the morning. Cindy the hygenist watches "the news" and there are no movies, sit com reruns or game shows on. Only "the news".

The news she watches is the CBS morning show. The first story I was subjected to was about the photographers who got arrested after chasing Brittany Speers. It was an in-depth story!

"This isn't news!" I tried to exclaim. Of course it sounded like "FITH IMMT MWZ!" But Cindy, having years of translating experience, knew what I meant. She agreed that indeed, it wasn't news, but didn't change the channel.

I was subjected to stories so fluffy they might as well have meowed before hacking up a hair ball. I don't think ugly bridesmaid dresses belong in a news program. I don't believe (no matter how much Harry Smith raved in a long food segment) that tuna belongs in a taco. And I do not care one little bit about Brittany Speers and the people who chase her. I don't even care that I've probably misspelled her name so please don't bother to correct me.

The next time I have a morning appointment, I'm going to take a radio and listen Morning Edition on NPR. Now there's some news.

Whoosh!

I wonder if the rest of the country felt the rush of air as thousands left Iowa Friday morning. What a loss for us. We will have to wait for another crappy president and for dozens of people fighting for the job before we have the same level of -- overkill. Every Pizza Ranch in Iowa is feeling the pain of declining revenue.

I got the township report from a friend last night. A whopping 16 showed up for the caucus. Where were they when Howard needed them?? Howard still sends me emails. I still love him and still think we should be voting him in for his second term - but whatever, people. You had your chance.

It was my friend's first caucus and she was excited and energized by it. She will be a delegate for John Edwards at the county convention, for what that's worth. In my experience, it's not worth much but I will let her ride that wave of excitement until she crashes on the beach of tedium at the convention. Live and learn.

I was pleasantly surprised (bowled over) by Obama's victory. Bully for him! I didn't think the people of Iowa had it in them. It was especially sweet since the newspaper that Iowa supposedly depends on endorsed Hillary. And every television channel had me convinced that she would win.

My township gets to send 3 delegates to the convention. They are evenly split. One each for Obama, Clinton and Edwards. Who'd a thunk it? You know I didn't.

In other caucus news, my mother called me today. My brother brought her a Des Moines Register he got in Boone yesterday. (On his birthday -- Happy Birthday, Little Brother! This is your card! Too bad you don't have a computer!) She asked if I got the paper. Well, yes and no. I get the Register, but not the one people in Des Moines read. They read a big fat newspaper. The paper they get in Boone is somewhat bit and fat, and the farther north you go in Iowa, the thinner the reading. I get very thin reading.

Mom was so excited because there was a photo of her best friend attending the caucus in Waukee. I searched (slowly on dial-up) and finally found it. And here it is.

Mom's best friend

My mother's best friend is a Republican. Mom says it is her best friend's only fault.

I also found this picture. And I found it disturbing.

Every caption I thought of is scandalous and possibly slanderous.

Dear Volunteer

While I admire your conviction and loyalty to candidate X, I really have to tell you -- I just don't care anymore.

While I do have my concerns, (I think a Hillary Clinton nomination would be a disaster at this time) I just don't care enough. You have succeeded with your bombardment of fliers and constant phone calls to kill any enthusiasm you may have generated at some other time.

In case you haven't noticed, I quit answering my phone weeks ago. Oh sure, it was fun at first dissing the current administration with you and listening to why your candidate is superior. But that was then. This is now.

This is the most hyped nomination process ever. I am sick of it. I know it is an important nomination but I've been to the caucus and I know how it goes.

The first caucus I went to in 1988 was exciting. The town hall was full. We argued and cajoled. I lost my candidate (Jesse Jackson, I believe) to the stupid math involved in viability (well, that plus I was probably the only one in the heart of the farmer-land to vote for a black guy). I can't remember who won our precinct. I do remember I got a plank in the party platform that never made it past the county convention (the next step). It was all fun nonetheless.

The next caucus I went to was held at a different place. It was in a bigger town, only our tiny precinct was not involved in the doings of the town. It irritated me that we had to travel when we have our own precinct.

We were stuck in a corner by ourselves to argue. There were 4 of us. I was the only one caucusing for my candidate. John Edwards won our precinct, I think. And he ended up not getting the nomination. This year I know 2 caucus goers who are going to vote for Edwards. So what's the point of my going? To hear myself talk? Even Captain Crab does not listen to me.

In conclusion, dear volunteer, I would like to say: Thank heavens it ends tomorrow. I'm glad I'm not a registered independent: I would get calls from both parties. Sheesh.

And to those of you who have been fed up with the current administration for years -- don't blame me. If I had my way Howard Dean would be running for re-election this year.

This is For the Birds

Frank at the bar was taunting me the other night by telling me his friend shot "my" rooster pheasant. I let him believe it was the only pheasant in the world and there were no more to be had. This morning I am watching a rooster pheasant roosting in the cedar trees right outside my window. Ha.

There are plenty of pheasants around here. I make sure to throw bird seed on the ground so they will find food. The poor pheasants are still waiting for the cracked corn I asked Captain Crab to pick up for me.

Pheasants in the yard

Pheasant in big tree

Pheasant in little tree

This morning's rooster

Speaking of birds, I had a Christmas miracle. The day after Christmas I went out to feed my birds. It is the most exciting time of the day for my dog Gretchen. She nearly turns herself inside out as I bundle up to go outside. If she could talk she would be shouting, "We're going out! We're going out!" while spinning in circles.

Out we went with Gretchen crashing through the door as soon as I cracked it. As I was filling the feeder I heard a commotion. Gretchen had a blue jay! Here is the first miracle: I told her to stop and she did.

The blue jay lay there with his wings spread out. For a while, he seemed to be gasping for breath with his little beak. I didn't know what to do. Finishing him off seemed like the humane thing to do but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Heartsick, I went back to the house.

A few minutes later I looked out to see the blue jay standing up and looking around. He looked confused. Later when I looked, he was gone. So that was my Christmas miracle. I'll take what I can get.

Blue Jays

I love my birds. I get excited when someone new comes to visit me. I was a little sad to have missed this visitor who came to my door while I was out one day.

I had a visitor